Lessons on Confidence
I’ve always been more worried about whether or not people liked who I am than cared what they thought about my appearance. I’ve always cared about my soul more than I cared about what I looked like. I'd rather stay home and get right on the inside than pretend everything is okay. I believe confidence should be genuine and from within and I believe confidence comes from loving who you are.
There’s this huge push to love ourselves and surround ourselves with people that love us, but we forget that loving yourself isn’t just a mindset. Love is an action, always has been and always will be no matter what book you base your life on. Here are a few ways to balance out your confidence. And if you don’t have that confidence? Keep reading, it might help you gain some.
1. Talk a little better
Most of us have horrid self talk. If you spoke to other people the way you speak to yourself, would you still have friends? If you spoke those silent thoughts about your shortcomings and inadequacies and directed them toward someone else, what kind of pain would you cause? Start to speak to yourself with kindness. Treat yourself with love. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend in your situation. Be patient and give yourself some grace. Remember when Fat Amy said she calls herself Fat Amy to beat other people to it? I think we do that, too. Maybe not about being fat necessarily, but we put labels on ourselves. Maybe people want to be around you, not because you are useful or pretty or whatever, but because they value you as a person. Start to value yourself as a person, too.
2. Know that it’s okay to grow
Do you listen to podcasts or read articles or books about how to be a better person, friend, leader, spouse or employee? You should. Being confident doesn’t mean loving who you are and staying exactly as you are. Confidence is being secure enough to learn about your shortcomings and improve them, being secure enough not to get defensive when receiving constructive criticism, and being secure enough to be okay (and walk away) when another person doesn’t treat you with value. Which leads me to point 3...
3. Learn when to walk
You will never love yourself if you surround yourself with people who treat you badly. Find the strength to stop responding to the people who gossip, make you feel bad about yourself, or never ask how you are doing. It might be lonely, but it’s better to be alone than to be surrounded by constant stress and negativity. When you move on from those who no longer need a role in your life, you begin to pick up those that do. You will absolutely flourish fueled by people who inspire and encourage you.
4. Discover your gifts
Take personality tests, gifts tests, and reputable quizzes that help show you who you are. Here’s a printable with a few questions you can ask yourself to highlight your talents and interests. When you discover your strengths and use those to make money, help others, and grow your hobbies, you learn to hone your area of expertise and gain the ability to provide value to any job or company you work with.
Loving yourself is an action, so take the time to care for your body and soul. You may not feel confident, but good things grow. And your soul? That's a good thing.
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As always, thanks for listening to my thoughts. It means so much.
Till next time,