How To Love Well Without Falling Apart
If you want to take care of yourself and others effectively, you’ve got to change your perception of what taking care of others looks like. We pursue a perceived definition of how to serve people because it’s what our mentor or parent did, when in reality, the talents we should be using to help others are completely different.
There are people who have the gift of giving or having empathy for others. It comes natural to them. It’s what they love to do. But some of us aren’t all in a position to give money. We aren’t all empathetic; some of us are logical and can serve better by helping others make a plan to get them where they want to go. Everyone thinks that doing certain things for others should be their talent so they neglect the things they are actually good at and burn themselves out trying to meet some unspoken expectation of how they should help other people.
If loving people means you make them laugh when they are sad, do that. If it means you share your experiences and wisdom, do that. If it means you give them financial help or cook them a meal, then by all means, do that. However, if someone is terrible at cleaning, then offering to clean a house as a way to serve others wouldn’t help anyone. The person offering would feel burdened and the person who they are trying to help wouldn’t get a very clean house. Just because one person serves people one way, doesn’t mean that’s your way. The point of serving others is to do what you are gifted at doing. That’s when it becomes joy.
Identify what your perceived definition of loving others looks like, then identify your talents. If they don’t match up, it will be easy to get overwhelmed and fall apart. When you love others with your talents and our of your joys is when you shine. The truth is, it’s okay to be really good at a few things and not very good in other areas. Leave those to someone else. The moment we embrace the good in ourselves, we are free to shake off what weighs us down. And the moment that we are no longer weighed down? Then, we can truly love people well.